Wrapping It Up

Greetings! If you need a good convicting read, head to http://www.bought-with-a-price.blogspot.com. Sarah's got a great post there.

So, "Goodbye"?

I'm steeling my heart, purposing to be tough and not cry in front of him. After more hemming-and-hawing, he says, I think I love you. Wow. That was the LAST thing I expected to hear. I was floored. My mouth must've hung open. All I said was, Oh? Now, remember what I wrote about the next man who told me he loved me? I just closed my mouth and looked at him. Then he said, You WILL marry me, won't you? (I get tears in my eyes still as I type this!) That was all I needed to hear! And wow, did we cry! We just talked and talked, and knelt down and dedicated our lives to God together, and then I HAD to leave! I was amazed, dumbfounded, thrilled, honored, blessed. I did not deserve such a man. And God heard my requests, and heeded my tuggings on his robe!

The next day we went to our pastor and told him we wanted to get married. Now. He said, First you need counseling. He said, One month. We said, Two weeks. So it was about two weeks later that we got married.

And there was a battle within me, believe it or not. One the one hand, I loved this man. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, have his babies, serve him all my days. On the other hand, it had been me and the Lord for a year and a half; I was SO happy in my God--HE led me, HE taught me, I submitted wholly to HIM! And now I was going to marry a SINNER (like me!), and have HIM lead me (and what a lead THAT has been!) and teach me and I had to submit to HIM?

I KNEW that my relationship to God would change (it HAD to!), but I wasn't sure I wanted to lose what I had with my Lord. Plus I'd never seen it done right. I would rather be single my whole life than go through a divorce. Greg and I decided right away we would never use that "d" word! (And he did, once. A very sad time, but God got us through it.) So strong was this conflict that on the way up the aisle, I told the Lord, If I'm making a mistake (and believe me, I had fervently prayed about it!), I will turn around and walk out right now. I was terrified, yet so in love with this wonderful man. Plus I hadn't learned about the sovereignty of God at this time, so the whole submission thing was REALLY scary to me! Remember The Boss marries The Baby? Whee.

It was a wonderful wedding, my friends threw together so much out of their own homes and pockets to make it possible, and I was so thankful for everything.

I LOVE being married, I love being married to GREGORY, my best, truest friend in this world. I have been sad, mad, mostly glad, but NEVER bored! Marriage has taught me so much about Greg, God, and myself. Especially myself. Scary. But "God leads His dear children along," and so he did the Risses. He saves, keeps, defends, provides. And I thank Him for providing me such a blessing in my husband. I truly don't deserve him. But that's what GRACE is about, isn't it?