Some More "Continued"

Hi there! Let's carry on, shall we? To catch up: Went to McKinney with Sarah and the children, saw Grace's new home--wowie! Five bedrooms, 2.5 baths, 2 story, 3000 square feet, right across the street from the school, on the corner. Sweet. AND it's brand spanking new. We stayed up from 9 PM to 3:45 AM painting Grace's bedroom. It looks SO nice--dark plum on one wall, and dark gray for the rest of the room. Who knew that was a beautiful combination?! AND I got to go to my favorite store in the world, *KEA. Got a dining room table that is the coolest, lamps, end tables, a kitchen cart, and some kitchen utensils. (You KNEW I'd get my apartment in here somehow, didn't you? You know who you are. And you are right.)

Back to Gregorio y Viviana.

[And I just noticed: Not only is IAN in VivIAN, but so is ANA (Anna)! How fun is that!]

(Am I easily distracted!)

So, it's almost time to go back to "bible" college. I'm getting sad, but making my peace with it. Greg and I were spending all our waking moments together, and loving every moment. But Greg never said anything, and certainly not the "L" word. So I'm sure not going to. On one of our outings, just the two of us, he decided to just pick a street and pass out tracts and witness to the folks. There was one house where the man was outside watering his lawn alone. Greg starts talking to him, and he tells us that he is married and committing adultery, and he does care what God thinks about it. I'm listening to Greg PLEAD with this man to trust Christ, and I'm thinking, God, I LOVE this man! I love his heart, his care for people, his zeal for God.

Since I had started spending time with Greg, I had a great tug-of-war going with God. One moment it would be like I was tugging on God's robe, saying, But, Father, LOOK at him! He would be PERFECT for me!, and the next moment saying, Just you and me, Lord. I don't need anyone but you, and I want to do your will and go where you want me to go. It was a fun time!

So, at this point, I knew I loved this man, but didn't know what God was going to do. So I kept praying and trusting (and playing tug-of-war).

[An "aside:" I don't believe people "fall in love." I don't believe in "I couldn't help it." Loving someone is a choice, and it is totally under your control who you choose to set your affections upon. And who you choose NOT to set your affections upon. You CAN help it, and, furthermore, God expects you to help it. The idea that the world has that you fell in love with someone whom it was sinful for you to "fall in love" with, and you couldn't help it, and here you are, and what could you do, after all? is a bunch of romantic, worldly, ungodly nonsense which removes all responsibility for your affections. "SET your affections on things above, not on things on the earth." The end.]

(So how do I REALLY feel about that?)

Greg asks me to pick him up after work (he had loaned me his truck, dear man), and we go take a ride to Nautilus Gym on the other side of town. This confuses me, as Greg is getting out of the Air Force on August 29th and going to school with me. (Does that date look familiar? hehe.) When I ask him what's going on, he says he feels he would be going to college with me BECAUSE of me, so he decided not to go. (What does THAT mean?) WELL. That leaves him staying here, and me going to Florida shortly. I experienced at that moment what our pastor at that time called "death of a vision." So much for me and Greg. So, while Greg's at the gym applying, I'm making my peace with God about it all, toughening up to say goodbye and it's been real and all that. Because it looks like it's not going to happen, and that's fine, because I have a God who will "never leave me nor forsake me," and HE loves me!

Ok. We continue to spend time together, though I'm backing off emotionally, as I don't want to get hurt. Plus there are LOTS of single godly girls at church, so forget it.

Now it's almost time for me to go back to Florida, and I start making plans to work with my junior high bible study, get a ride back, etc. And Greg starts acting weird, aloof. I figure it's getting time to say goodbye, so I prepare my heart. I keep asking him what's wrong, and the answer remains the same: nothing. Yeah, right.

After a few days of this, I'm ready to get this over with and move on, so I tell him we need to talk, and I invite myself to his apartment (which I had never done before, because I don't do alone with someone of the opposite s*x, and I figure nothing dramatically dangerous is going to happen). So I persist: what's wrong? I'm steeling myself for "Goodbye; it's been real."

Continued, hopefully soon.

[A funny story in here. This is the kind of man Greg was: We had dinner together with another physical training instructor (co-worker) and his wife. Greg wanted to cook. Now THIS is worth observing, wouldn't you be thinking? I sure was! We're having baked chicken, so Greg gets two whole chickens and slaps them on a cookie sheet. Neat! I know NOTHING about cooking (trust me!), but I DO think that maybe you should put something on the chickens before you slam them into the oven? I suggest butter. So he gets a stick of butter and SHOVES it INTO the chicken! If it would've still had its head on, it would've turned cross-eyed! I was hysterical! I very kindly said, while wiping the tears from my eyes, I think the butter goes on the OUTSIDE of the bird. So he took the stick of butter in his palm, squeezed, and out squoze the butter from between his fingers. And that's what he put on the chickens, and they were delicious. Go figure. I thought to myself, I think I would never be BORED with this man. And was THAT an understatement!]