Saul (trying for depth)

I'm currently reading in I Samuel. What an awesome section, and what lessons are there for me! I get so sad reading about Saul, seeing as I know his end.

Do you know any verses that cause you to be poor and of a contrite spirit, and tremble at God's word? (This is from Isaiah 66:2--the man to which God will look.) One of these verses for me is I Samuel 15:22,23, emphasis on 23: 22"And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. 23For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry...."

I don't know about you, but the word that would perfectly describe me in my youth is "rebellious." I tremble to think how I used to be, and bless the Lord for mercifully sparing me having such daughters! I'm amazed my mom didn't kill me, or, at least, disown me. She would've been justified in doing so, believe me.

Now, the Lord Jesus Christ has made me a new woman; He stopped me in "my wild career" (a line from a hymn). He drew me to Himself, the One who is altogether lovely. He caused me to love holiness, to want to be like Him--to hate sin. Why would I want to embrace that which killed my Beloved? I still sin--thank God for the Spirit of God that doesn't leave me alone--but I don't want to! He convicts. I have an Advocate with the Father--Jesus Christ the righteous. Glory to God.

In my lost estate, I dabbled in things pertaining to witchcraft. As a lost girl, I sinned and committed idolatry--worshipping and serving the creature more than the Creator. And my dear Father tells me that REBELLION is as WITCHCRAFT, and STUBBORNNESS!!! (yikes!) is as iniquity and idolatry! Wow. Please, God, don't ever let me be found there.

And so, these verses cause me to tremble. I tremble when I think of how "prone to wander" I am, not so much physically, as in my mind, where, I believe, the battle is won or lost. I tremble to think how stubborn I can be. How easy it is NOT to be stubborn when things go your way! And rebellion. How God used this verse to teach me (and continues to teach me!) submission to my dear husband. How desperately I needed this lesson if I was to have a Christian marriage, something I had never seen before I married (there were lots of young singles in our church, and our pastor was single). What mercy and grace I've been shown!

More on such verses later. Thank you for reading.